An intriguing admirer in London

Tara was a voluntary receptionist at a prestigious Indian hostel in London. In the beginning, I thought it was prejudice at first sight. And prejudices, as the very word connotes, have no rational basis. One might even say she was prejudiced because she didn’t like my face! From her reception counter, she would closely watch me passing the foyer with her rather cold, suspicious eyes. Her apparent hostility was a riddle.

But, to be fair, in the aftermath of Indira Gandhi’s assassination, Indians in UK were so insecure as to suspect, and even to be paranoid about, new inmates joining Indian hostels there. And the overzealous receptionist was probably keeping a dutiful eye on newcomers like me. This was a plausible explanation, as I eventually noticed that some other inmates too were receiving her cold gaze. So I dismissed her from my mind. I was in an executive position in India, now on a few months’ visit to London; and she but a rotund, middle-aged woman, the wife of a senior employee at the hostel. Obviously she was not worthy of my attention.

But how unexpectedly perceptions can change! Just in a couple of weeks into my sojourn in London, I was lucky to be invited to speak at the weekly prayer meeting at the hostel. The hall was half-full with normal attendance, and my semon was well received. Another invitation followed. Such repeat invitations, the hostel director confided to me, were exceptional and not the custom; apparently my previous address had generated a strong demand to invite me for yet another meeting.

And on this second occasion the hall was full to overflowing, with many parents present with their children. The post-meeting fellowship was heart-warming. The receptionist Tara’s husband, who was cheerfully moving around, pointed his finger at his wife and said that it was at her insistence that I was invited for the second time and that it was she again who had mobilized the large audience from the City, with women and children outnumbering men. And then he dropped the bombshell, “You see, my wife is a fan of yours!” Surprise of surprises. But greater surprise was awaiting.

Next evening I had a dinner invitation at their residence. There she bluntly revealed in the presence of her husband that she was fully aware of my previous discomfort with her, and blamed me, and most men including her husband, for being myopic in seeing and understanding people. Are you not selecting candidates for services based on their examination marks and general knowledge alone, without assessing their all-important attitudes and aptitudes? You recruit administrative officials going by their competitive exam results and un-insightful interviews. The successful candidates are often high on intellect but not so high on attitudes. Medical students are likewise selected without ever reckoning their attitudes to the poor and the patients; and medical colleges therefore produce doctors whose eyes are in the commercial possibilities of their profession. So, the important thing is to understand the person. That needs intuition, not intellect alone. “You didn’t have that intuition; and that is why you failed to understand me in the beginning.”

What wisdom this, coming as it did from seemingly a very ordinary woman! I had never before felt so humbled in my life; nor so much at any time thereafter.

K X M John

06 Nov 2009

(First published in New Indian Express in November 2009)